You are more than just an uncomfortable word to say.
You were once the hardest word for me to say, so I never would say it.

You are more than just a procedure.
You are a life taker. Not just my child’s, but mine also.

You have been in my worst nightmares.
You are what robs my peace as I lie down to sleep. Without a tv on to drown out the torment, I would lay there all night with endless wonders of that time in my life.

I have an anniversary of darkness to face year after year.
No matter how quiet I’ve been or how far I’ve come, you never leave me.

You are sly in your ways of luring in the scared, frightened, empty women who think they will find comfort in you.
You make promises of peace, and closure of what may have been the result of a bad choice one night, an abusive relationship, or even rape.

A “quick fix” per say, to what seemed could be a forever problem. “No one ever has to know”, you whisper into the ears of those hungry for secrecy.
However, on that day, your promise of never having to look back, became the one thing I couldn’t forget about. No matter how hard I ran from you, you were always there.

See, I didn’t even want to meet you. I was a child myself.

But you spoke gently to my mother who was all alone in this. Knowing that no matter what choice was made the responsibility would ultimately fall on her. You lured her into your promise of peace, and closure.

You painted a beautiful picture for her. She was scared too, especially for my life.

A 14-year-old couldn’t possibly carry a child, could she? Of course, you said it was risky. You played on that. The thought of losing me was unbearable for her.

So, what does a mother do? Even at 22 weeks it’s still just a blob of tissue, you said. There would be no harm to me. I’d be able to go on with my childhood. Things could go back to “normal” you said.

So the decision was made.

Full of promises on the other side, I walked in. The door closed behind me, and the “procedure” began. There were people everywhere. I was so scared.

All of a sudden I had all of these thoughts racing through my mind. “They don’t care about me.” “How could they possibly care about children? They kill them.”

“How was I supposed to trust those who saw me as a threat to my own mother?”

Almost numb from the heartache and fear, I just turned my head and wept until it was over.

When the Dr. finished, I saw him hand the nurse a little pan. As she walked by me, I grabbed for it, knowing that my baby was in there. I just wanted to see him and say goodbye. Before I could though, they held me down and gave me a shot in the arm, and that was it.

That was the last memory of my baby and me in the same room. He was born into Heaven, while I was left lying there to face another product of this evil world. I knew then that my life would never be the same.

Abortion, YOU’RE A LIAR!

What you said you could “stop” happened anyway.

Not 1, but 2 childhoods were robbed that day. I walked into the room with you a frightened little girl, but I walked out as a mother of a dead baby. One I would dream of holding every day. One who’s cries in my heart would shatter my silence.

Does that sound like things went back to “normal”?

Does it sound like someone who could just go back to being a kid?

We waited and waited for the closure you promised us through that “quick fix”, but It never came. Peace, and comfort didn’t either.

At least not through you. You don’t have the power to give that. You only have the power to build walls for those like me to hide behind.

What you didn’t realize happened on that day you promised the world to my mother and me, was that I cried out to God.

I hit my knees and begged for His forgiveness. Peace like rain swept over me.

He promised to restore all that was taken, and promised that this hurt would be used to bless others one day. Almost 20 years, I held on to that promise. I waited patiently for His perfect timing, eager to find out how He would use something so ugly for His beautiful glory.

Then one day, just like that, the doors opened.

He placed the right people in the right places for me. I went through a post abortive bible study that brought that sweet closure I had longed for all of these years.

Through that, I now know you will no longer be able to rob me of anything else in this life. Yes, the tears will still fall. That’s what happens when you are free to finally let them.

No more fear of judgment.

No more fear of rejection from this world. You see I am not alone here. There are many of us. Some have tasted this freedom that only comes from the Lord, but many others are still held captive behind your walls of shame.

The Lord has given me, along with my sisters in freedom, a passion to seek them.

1 in 3 women have walked through your door, and have bought your lies. They are being held captive right this very minute.

Afraid to accept the calling the Lord has placed on their lives, due to the shame they live with.

Afraid of being “found out” due to the rejection they may face. So many fears. So many doubts. Totally unaware that sweet closure awaits.

Most of them know they are forgiven, but the Lord wants them healed and free! One by one The Lord is building His army. And, when the healing comes, my prayer is that you will be the one left with an empty place …

Abortion … you ALMOST killed my hopes and dreams, but a man named Jesus came to save me and restored them all.

His daughter,

Amanda B. Scott